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loved_by_two[{Completely Private; No Muse Can See This}]
What I don't want anyone else to know?
I am so terribly afraid that my relationship with the men I love is a wonderful dream that I am going to wake up from.
See, there times that I am terrified that Arthur and Lancelot don't really need me like I need them.
When we went to Sarmatia to meet Lancelot's parents, there was a sense of fear for both Arthur and I---but for entirely different reasons.
Arthur was terrified that Lancelot was going to stay in Sarmatia and he was going to lose him. He was almost fully convinced that Lancelot was going to choose his family over him. I watched the worry that went through Arthur's eyes when he was called back to Briton. That night we all three spent together, I knew that Arthur was afraid that was going to be our last night together. The relief in his eyes when he found out that Lancelot had returned to me was indeed a powerful sight.
I never told them both how I afraid I was that if I lost one, I was going to lose the other.
I always make sure that the face I show to everybody is one of self-assurance and extreme confidence. I never like anyone knowing that I don't feel sure about something. It's something I have perfected throughout my life.
I don't want anyone to know that I am not the confident warrior that I make sure they see. They need me to be the strong warrior. It is the woman they want around them.
So how can I let them see that when it comes to the way I feel for them, I'm not as confident about my place in their lives as I pretend to be?
How can I admit to them that I am afraid that if anything comes between them I lose them both?
How can I let them see that I am so bloody terrified of losing what we have that it can drive me crazy sometimes?
It's simple.
I never let them know of my fear.
Words: 351
Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur" Movies and Mythologies
What I don't want anyone else to know?
I am so terribly afraid that my relationship with the men I love is a wonderful dream that I am going to wake up from.
See, there times that I am terrified that Arthur and Lancelot don't really need me like I need them.
When we went to Sarmatia to meet Lancelot's parents, there was a sense of fear for both Arthur and I---but for entirely different reasons.
Arthur was terrified that Lancelot was going to stay in Sarmatia and he was going to lose him. He was almost fully convinced that Lancelot was going to choose his family over him. I watched the worry that went through Arthur's eyes when he was called back to Briton. That night we all three spent together, I knew that Arthur was afraid that was going to be our last night together. The relief in his eyes when he found out that Lancelot had returned to me was indeed a powerful sight.
I never told them both how I afraid I was that if I lost one, I was going to lose the other.
I always make sure that the face I show to everybody is one of self-assurance and extreme confidence. I never like anyone knowing that I don't feel sure about something. It's something I have perfected throughout my life.
I don't want anyone to know that I am not the confident warrior that I make sure they see. They need me to be the strong warrior. It is the woman they want around them.
So how can I let them see that when it comes to the way I feel for them, I'm not as confident about my place in their lives as I pretend to be?
How can I admit to them that I am afraid that if anything comes between them I lose them both?
How can I let them see that I am so bloody terrified of losing what we have that it can drive me crazy sometimes?
It's simple.
I never let them know of my fear.
Words: 351
Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur" Movies and Mythologies
