[Locked to Lancelot] Battle Fatigue

[loved_by_two]

((OOC: This was supposed to be posted a few days ago, after Tristan and Lancelot returned from their ride, but medical foo caused it to be late. So this happens before Arthur returns.))


After Guinevere returned from her meeting with Gerard she had avoided everyone---including the one she most needed to see. For the longest time, she had sat up upon one of the highest parapets of the fortress. It was one of the few places that ony a handful of people within the walls could get to. Up ehre, she could watch people come and go.

Gerard

Guinevere buried her face in her hands. Gerard was threatening Arthur and Lancelot and she didn't know how she was supposed to combat him. Gerard wouldn't just use weapons made of steel and wood and strength. He'd use the dark magics that he had been mastering since he had left the tribe. Thanks to her father, she herself was a master in one side of the magics. She had only dabbled in the dark arts. Those scared her and she hated to go anywhere near them. But to combat Gerard and protect those she loved...

After a very long time, Guinevere climbed down from the parapets. She went to the training area in the back of the stables. She bulled bales of straw and barrels out and arranged them around her. She made her way up to her rooms and retrieved a multitude of weaponry. When she came back down to the battlefield she had made, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

After focusing her breathing, Guinevere leapt into action, throwing knives and hatchets at her targets with deadly accuracy. At first, a few of the braver boys in the area engaged her in sparring, but after a few hours and more that a few serious cuts and bruises, they left the driven warrior to her workout. One of the squires thought it might be a good idea to go and fetch someone who would be able to approach the maid and not get killed in the process.

Gerard was threatening to harm the men she loved more than her own life.

"Kyah!" she screamed out as her sword tore into a target dummy.

She was vaguely aware of sweat streaming down her body. Her leathers began to stick to her as she continued to push herself.

Her past was promising to destroy her future.

She felt pains from her wounds, but soon they became a dull throbbing at the back of her mind as she focused on her work out.

Gerard was plotting with the enemy. He had made arrangements with the Saxons to attack Arthur and the Knights. He was trying to drive a wedge between the Britons and Arthur. He was going to harm Lancelot and Arthur.

Guinevere spun, throwing two small axes into a target with a cry that seemed to be torn from deep within her soul. She rolled from a crouch and let loose with two daggers from her wrists. When the sky opened up and rain started pouring down upon her, she didn't falter.

The woman pushed herself until her breathing was ragged and every muscle in her body ached. Still, she wouldn't stop the torture she was visiting upon herself.

Gerard. Gerard. Gerard.

She stabbed at the targets in front of her and then dropped her sword to use her fists as well.

He would take everything from her. He would make sure that she suffered the pain of knowing that it was he who had taken away her happiness. He wouldn't fight her men outright, but he would destroy them and everything that they had worked for.

Arthur. Lancelot.

She would die for them. She would kill for them. She would sell her soul for them.

Guinevere took up her pair of short swords and continued to stab at the targets as rained poured down and turned the ground into mud.

She pushed herself until her strength gave out and she dropped to her knees, still stabbing at the shredded target in front of her. The rain mixed with the sobs being torn from her as she continued to try to fight even from her knees.

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One of those squires happened to find Lancelot on his return from the field with Tristan. The words he spoke troubled Lancelot and he reassured the young man that he would see to Guinevere. He tied his horse up within the stable and without pausing to catch his breath, he moved behind the stables and stopped as his eyes came to rest on Guinevere.

He could see the way her shoulders were shaking and knew that she was crying. The only time she shuddered in that way was when she was. Rain continued to pour from the skies and continued to soak every part of Lancelot but he didn't seem to care. He moved up behind Guinevere but made sure to keep his footsteps audible so she didn't think him someone else and try to attack him.

" Guinevere?" Lancelot questioned softly before he dropped to his knees beside her and put his arms around her -- pulling her close to him. One hand moved to smooth her hair away from her face.

[loved_by_two]

When she heard his voice and then felt his arms, Guinevere did the only thing she could. She collapsed against him, arms wrapping around him as she sobbed. She didn't care right now that he had found her like this. She didn't care that she was muddy and wet and her hands were getting blood on his clothing. All she cared about was that he was there and he was holding her.

"I can't watch you die...I can't," she sobbed against him. "I won't let him hurt you or Arthur. He's wrong. He's wrong. He won't just use weaponry and he'll hurt you and I can't live with that."

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Lancelot frowned as he heard the string of words that came from Guinevere." Do you mean Gerard?" He asked as his hand continued to smooth over her hair.

" And you won't have to watch me die, Guinevere. Why are you saying these things?" He pulled her even closer and secured an arm around her waist to draw her to his warmth.

The woman was shaking like a leaf -- obviously been out in the cold for too long -- or had too many emotions coursing through her to stay still

[loved_by_two]

"He said...he said..." Guinevere choked on sobs and rain. She tightened her arms around him.

"You don't know him, my love. You don't know him as I do. He will use anything to get what he wants, anything." She shook her head. "Saxons will be the least of it to get his means."

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" Whatever he throws at us, we'll deal with." Lancelot answered with a nod of his head. Rain dripped from the tips of his hair as he did this." Nothing will happen to me, Guinevere." He assured her as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

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"Lancelot, he was here! He was behind the wall. The night at the tavern when Tristan returned and I left, he grabbed me. He was here and no one knew."

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Lancelot's eyes widened for a brief moment. If Gerard had managed to get behind the walls then that meant he had help. Help from inside of these walls. A frown marred his features before he simply smoothed a hand over Guinevere's back." What did he want with you?"

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere stiffened and then shook her head. He needed to know. "He wanted me to meet with him." She tried to stop shaking. "He told me if I didn't, then you would be ambushed again. This time, there would be no help for you and you would die."

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Lancelot drew away from Guinevere but only so he could look her in the eye." Did you meet with him? And if so, what was said?" He pushed his hair out of his face so he could watch her as she replied.

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere stiffened when he pulled away, but when he didn't let go of her, she relaxed a bit. She looked at him in shame. "Duty or love, remember, love? I couldn't make that same choice as you, so I decided to choose love and go to him. He warned me that I needed to spend as much time as possible with you because you would soon be gone."

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He was suddenly hating his choice right about now because he could see the pain in her eyes. A hand lifted to rest against her cheek and his thumb ran across her cheek." Nothing will happen to me, Guinevere. I'm right here and I always will be here."

[loved_by_two]

"He will find a way to take you from me, Lancelot," she said softly, rain dripping down her face from her hair. "He hates all of you so much, but he has a very special hate reserved for you and for Arthur. He's been watching Arthur this whole time. He has been behind the wall." She swallowed. "He thinks the Saxons will kill you all and then the Saxons will leave Briton to him and the rest of the people."

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" He's more of a fool than first we thought." Lancelot remarked with a shake of his head. He worried for Arthur's safety now that he knew that Gerard had been watching him. Lancelot settled against the ground and ignored the water that slid over his skin. He wished he could say something to assure her that he would be fine but he just didn't know how. Eventually, he tipped her head up and brushed his lips over hers." I won't leave you Guinevere. No matter what happens."

[loved_by_two]

When Guinevere kissed him back, there was a slight desperation in it. She held him, wanting to believe the words as strongly as he did. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "There is so much you don't know about Gerard...about me, my love," she said softly. "I'm afraid of what might happen."

Guinevere was physically exhausted, but her mind kept tormenting her with what Gerard was going to do. "He hates you so much."

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" Then he should get along with Gawain quite splendidly." Lancelot said with a smile as he interjected some humour into this bad situation. But his tone sobered." There is no way of ever knowing everything Guinevere, for now, we have the moment and let us just enjoy that." He wrapped his arms around her and muttered." For now, I'm getting you inside."

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere still seemed to have no reaction to the cold and to the rain. Her eyes were shadowed when she looked at Lancelot. "There is something you need to know, my love. Something that you will not like."

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Lancelot arched his eyebrow to that, he wondered what this something could ne and didn't pull his gaze away as he asked." What is it?"

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Guinevere stared into his eyes, needing to watch his face when she told him this.

"Gerard and I...he..." She sighed softly. "We were supposed to be wed."

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The colour drained from Lancelot's face as Guinevere said those words. His grip faltered for a moment as he attempted to sort through everything." Wed? You and him? But why?" Had Gerard been a different man? Lancelot was trying to understand.

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere saw his reaction and it caused her to drop her eyes to the ground. She didn't want him to see how she felt right now.

"He didn't always used to be..." she sighed, feeling the rest of her strength drain out of her. "Gerard was the only male in all of the tribes that would approach me. He wasn't afraid of Merlin or what I was destined to become. He was a student of Merlin's. I thought he loved me and Merlin arranged that we were to be wed."

She shuddered. "But I began to see changes in him. Changes that bothered me. Then...he challenged Merlin and the way Merlin taught which magic he taught. Gerard was angry, raised a weapon to Merlin, I stood between them. Merlin won the challenge. Gerard left and demanded that I should come with him since we were lovers." She kept her face down. "I said no. He told me I would regret not going with him."

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Lancelot exhaled a breath as he listened to Guinevere's answer. It made sense but it was hard for him to understand as he had only seen this side of Gerard. He remained silent as Guinevere talked and told him of Gerard's past.

By now, the rain had eased off and only a light drizzle trickled over them." It would seem he means to stand by his word." He remarked with a shake of his head.

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere sighed.

"I was stupid. I think Gerard was always dark, but I refused to see it because I was enamoured. He was the only one not afraid of me...until I met you and Arthur." She choked. "He was never like you. When I met the two of you, I knew that what I had felt for Gerard was nothing compared to what I feel for you."

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" We're all stupid when we're young." Lancelot remarked with a wry smirk. He tipped his head back and enjoyed the feeling of the rain touching his skin and even parted his mouth to swallow a few drops. He turned his attention back to Guinevere." Death did not claim me once, it will not claim me. Not now and not for a very long time to come."

[loved_by_two]

"I will not allow you to come so close to death twice because of me, Lancelot." Guinevere shook her head. She thought about getting up, but her legs trembled beneath her. She had indeed pushed herself beyond her limits.

"I didn't realize that after all of this time..." she sighed, touching the wound at her throat.

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" Need I remind you that I did what I did on Badon Hill because I wanted to?" Lancelot asked as he glanced to Guinevere.

They must have looked a sight sat out there with their bodies completely soaked to the bone.