Does Heartache Make You Stronger? (#42)

[loved_by_two]

Guinevere swung her sword, parrying the blow coming towards her. She spun around, looking for her next opponent. The sound of metal striking metal drew a hiss from between her clenched teeth and she fought her attacker to the ground. She didn't take time to finish the kills. She was too angry, too heartbroken. She wanted to make as many of the Saxon invaders die as slow of a death as possible. She wanted to kill or maim as many of the enemy as she could before she herself was struck down.

Lancelot...they had killed Lancelot.

She was trying to fight to the death and stand guard over Lancelot's body at the same time.  She wouldn't let those dogs take trophies from her fallen love. She wouldn't let them spoil his form anymore than they already had.

When the sword pierced her back, she stared down at her chest, her sword dropping from her hand to lay in the dirt. She drew in a painful breath, she had to let the others know what had happened. She screamed as she fell, her body draping over Lancelot's...

...and then she screamed again as she was lifted up.

"Guinevere! Guinevere, wake up!"

She became aware of being held against a strong, warm body as a hand stroked her hair gently.

"Arthur?" she whispered, tasting tears as she spoke.

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm here," he whispered as he tightened his hold on her. "I'm here."

"I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry that I couldn't save him."

The hand on her hair went still, then started up again.

"Guinevere..."

She felt Arthur's arms loosen, then tighten once more around her. She knew he was trying to think of what to say.

"I couldn't stop the bastard and he killed him."

"Guinevere, you were dreaming.  No one has died."

"But Lancelot..."

"I'm right here, my lady," the beloved voice said as the hand was moved from her hair and his arms joined Arthur's around her. "I'm alove and I'm safe.  I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"It seemed so real, it was so bright and so loud." Guinevere swallowed, wondering if her dream had not been merely a nightmare about that day on Badon Hill, but a premonition. "I felt the pain of the sword going through my back."

Arthur kissed the top of her head as both men sheltered her. "It was a dream and nothing more, my love."

"Besides," Lancelot said softly. "I've seen what I would be missing if I ever let death claim me.  I have no intentions of leaving your or Arthur's side for a very long time."






I do not know about heartache making you stronger.  However, heartache can make you more susceptible to worry and that can be turned into a weakness.

When I thought Lancelot was dead or dying, I felt such a pain inside that I was surprised it did not kill me. Arthur and I sat at his bedside as Merlin tended to him, and then we sat, waiting for him to wake up.

I knew that if Lancelot died, part of Arthur would die with him---if not the man himself. If that had happened...if I had lost both of them...

Heartache can cause you not to pay attention to the world around you and it can make you feel like you are alone in this vast place of darkness with no way out.

I know without a doubt that should Lancelot or Arthur die, part of me would die as well. I also know if anything should happen to the other knights---whom I have come to view as family---the heartache from that would be slow in healing...if it healed completely at all.

Heartache doesn't make you stronger...but it might make you more careful. Then again, heartache also has the ability to make you an easier target to your enemies.


Word Count: 653
Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur" Misc. Movies and Mythologies