Trust.
It's such a small word and it can do such major damage to people and to relationships. It's one of those concepts that can take years to build and merely seconds to destroy. It takes a lifetime to create and only suspicions - not facts - to shatter it forever.
Guinevere knew this from personal experience - both in the far past and in the very recent.
Merlin had trusted in Gerard and had been betrayed.
Arthur had once trusted in her, but her own unexplained actions and the scheming of another had ripped her husband's trust away from her.
It was such a fragile thing, really. A fragile thing that seemed to carry the power to make or break any relationship - no matter how strong it may seem. It was one of those things that needed constant maintenance and care apparently. Trust was something that couldn't be earned and then left alone. No matter how string the trust may appear, if it was left alone it became damaged. Sometimes, it became damaged beyond all hope of repair.
That was the mistake Guinevere had made so recently with Arthur.
She had assumed that once she had finally gained his trust that he would always trust her. She had thought that since she now had his trust, it therefore required no more work on that bond.
She had been so very wrong.
Love and trust were not the same things. Just because you loved someone beyond explanation, it didn't necessarily mean that you trusted them. Love and trust were not mutually exclusive.
This had been a very hard lesson for Guinevere to learn. It hurt her deeply that she had lost Arthur's trust in her. She could still see the look in his eyes when she had asked him if he trusted her. It had been like a well-placed dagger to her heart. Although she knew it was through her own fault that this had happened, it still devastated her.
Losing the trust of someone you loved so very deeply was like an open wound that never stopped bleeding.
Through her own actions, she had lost the trust of her friend, her husband ... of her king.
Through her own actions, she had endangered the life of her dark knight, her friend ... her beloved.
Through her own actions, she had almost cost both Lancelot and Arthur their lives. She hadn't thought out the repercussions of everything that was happening with Gerard. She hadn't realized how quickly everything around her would spiral out of control. She had been naive to think that everything would be just fine if she handled this the way her heart said to.
It didn't matter that her actions were an effort to protect Lancelot from harm. Her efforts had backfired and he had been taken. He had been hurt and she might have been able to prevent it if she had just gone to Arthur after the second meeting with Gerard.
She now needed to start all over again to regain the trust of the two men she loved more than her own life. She just didn't know where exactly she should start. She couldn't ask Arthur, because it was he that she had unwittingly betrayed. She couldn't ask Lancelot because he was injured and he didn't know yet the full story of what had happened after he had been taken.
Apparently, trust was always a work in progress. She would have to remember that.
Word Count: 576
Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur"; Misc Movies and Mythologies
It's such a small word and it can do such major damage to people and to relationships. It's one of those concepts that can take years to build and merely seconds to destroy. It takes a lifetime to create and only suspicions - not facts - to shatter it forever.
Guinevere knew this from personal experience - both in the far past and in the very recent.
Merlin had trusted in Gerard and had been betrayed.
Arthur had once trusted in her, but her own unexplained actions and the scheming of another had ripped her husband's trust away from her.
It was such a fragile thing, really. A fragile thing that seemed to carry the power to make or break any relationship - no matter how strong it may seem. It was one of those things that needed constant maintenance and care apparently. Trust was something that couldn't be earned and then left alone. No matter how string the trust may appear, if it was left alone it became damaged. Sometimes, it became damaged beyond all hope of repair.
That was the mistake Guinevere had made so recently with Arthur.
She had assumed that once she had finally gained his trust that he would always trust her. She had thought that since she now had his trust, it therefore required no more work on that bond.
She had been so very wrong.
Love and trust were not the same things. Just because you loved someone beyond explanation, it didn't necessarily mean that you trusted them. Love and trust were not mutually exclusive.
This had been a very hard lesson for Guinevere to learn. It hurt her deeply that she had lost Arthur's trust in her. She could still see the look in his eyes when she had asked him if he trusted her. It had been like a well-placed dagger to her heart. Although she knew it was through her own fault that this had happened, it still devastated her.
Losing the trust of someone you loved so very deeply was like an open wound that never stopped bleeding.
Through her own actions, she had lost the trust of her friend, her husband ... of her king.
Through her own actions, she had endangered the life of her dark knight, her friend ... her beloved.
Through her own actions, she had almost cost both Lancelot and Arthur their lives. She hadn't thought out the repercussions of everything that was happening with Gerard. She hadn't realized how quickly everything around her would spiral out of control. She had been naive to think that everything would be just fine if she handled this the way her heart said to.
It didn't matter that her actions were an effort to protect Lancelot from harm. Her efforts had backfired and he had been taken. He had been hurt and she might have been able to prevent it if she had just gone to Arthur after the second meeting with Gerard.
She now needed to start all over again to regain the trust of the two men she loved more than her own life. She just didn't know where exactly she should start. She couldn't ask Arthur, because it was he that she had unwittingly betrayed. She couldn't ask Lancelot because he was injured and he didn't know yet the full story of what had happened after he had been taken.
Apparently, trust was always a work in progress. She would have to remember that.
Word Count: 576
Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur"; Misc Movies and Mythologies
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