Application For [livejournal.com profile] creative_muses : What do you regret the most?

Jun. 11th, 2007 10:26 am
loved_by_two: (Default)
[personal profile] loved_by_two
Regrets are indeed something that I have a great many of. You cannot live the way I have lived and see the things that I have seen without collecting your own share of regrets.

However, the one thing I regret the most is the pain and sorrow that has been caused to the men I love due to me and who I am.

Yes, I did say men and not man.

I am in love with, and loved by, two men. It seems that love has its own share of difficulties, though. This is still a new thing for all of us, and there are people who would use it to further their own gain.

I digress, though.

The biggest regret I have and will always have is the sorrow caused to Arthur and Lancelot during the Battle of Badon Hill and the part I played in that. Had I not ran into battle against the Saxon that had killed Dagonet heedless of the danger he posed to me, Lancelot never would have been injured that day. He came to my aid when it appeared that I was about to be killed by the Saxon. He intervened and blocked that sword from cleaving my chest open.

I am sure that we all thought it would be ended there. There is none that could best Lancelot at sword work.

None of us expected the crossbow bolt to suddenly slam into his chest. My screams were carried away by the din of the battle when I saw Lancelot drop to his knees and then to the ground. It was only out of the corner of my eye that I saw the Saxon crash to the ground with Lancelot's sword in his chest. My concern was for Lancelot and trying to keep him with us until help could arrive.

I will never forget the pain and sorrow on Arthur's face when he found me cradling Lancelot's head in my lap on that bloody field.

It took some time, but Lancelot eventually healed and the shadow of death overlooked him.

I will always regret that it was my actions that caused the injury and the sorrow they both went through. It is not something that I can ever let go of.



Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: King Arthur movies and mythologies
Words: 378

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